Desperately Seeking Househusband Read online

  I was beginning to wonder what I’d do when this farce of a relationship was over and I didn’t see Gabby at the end of every day.

  13

  Gabby

  The water hit my chest, stimulating overstimulated nipples that didn’t seem to understand that Rhett wasn’t our real boyfriend. I’d taken to frequent showers this week, just to have a quiet moment away from the cameras and constant acting. Okay fine, nosy bitch, it was to have some quality time with my vibrating friend. It was the only thing getting me through this charade with a hot ginger gifted with muscles hardening every inch of his body, and who also had a soft heart. Killer combo, every woman would agree.

  Plus, a girl had needs, okay? It had been a solid year since I’d had a boyfriend.

  Steam built up in the room, overpowering the tiny fan in the ceiling. I closed my eyes and rested my head back against the shower wall, pink toy barely making a sound above the pounding of the water on the tile floor. I’d met a lot of gorgeous men in my thirty-four years on this planet and yet my mind went right to Rhett in those tight white golfer’s pants and teal-blue-collared polo that hugged his rounded muscles just right. The way he smiled all the time with those dimples flashing when he found something extra amusing.

  And then I went back to the picture I’d taken and filed away to pull out at exactly this moment. Rhett, just barely awake, standing by the bed with McThunderstick peeking out the top of his underwear to wish me good morning with a one-eyed wink. My body was buzzing, chasing after that elusive orgasm that would put my libido back in the box for the time being.

  I licked my lips and pictured him lowering the front of his underwear to let the Cock-a-saurus Rex out of its cage. The head bobbed for a moment, right before he gripped it with his hand and gave it a tug. My mouth watered, just thinking about swiping my tongue across the tip, pulling his hand away, and taking as much of his length into my mouth as was humanly possible. Rippling abs flexed the minute I ran my hands up his torso, then back down again to grab his ass, the globes of muscle rock-hard under my touch.

  A wave of pleasure shot down my spine and threatened to break. An imagined thrust of his hips into my face, a pressure on the back of my throat, and I let go, tumbling after all the pleasure I’d been denied for far too long.

  The faint buzz seemed louder post-orgasm. Blinking my eyes open and coming back to my senses, I clicked the button on my toy a thousand times before it went through all the settings and finally turned off.

  “I better get out of the shower before I cause another widespread drought,” I mumbled to myself. I shut the water off and wrapped a towel around me, then hid my toy in the back of the linen closet inside the bathroom. We’d have to go through twenty clean towels before anyone found my hiding spot of debauchery. Let’s just hope Rhett didn’t decide to wash both our cars one day before I got a chance to move my stash.

  “Gabby?” Rhett called me through the door.

  A flush that had nothing to do with the heat in the room had my cheeks on fire at the sound of Rhett’s voice. Double-checking the towel was securely fastened around me, I cracked open the door, letting the steam billow out into the bedroom.

  “Yes?”

  His gaze immediately dropped to take in my towel-clad form, what little of it he could see between the doorjamb and the door I gripped tight. The blue of his eyes darkened the longer he looked. He gave his head a quick shake and went back to meeting my eyes. His hand lifted and ran through his hair, the long strands on top lying askew in the aftermath and only adding to his adorableness.

  “Um, I was thinking we could get out of here when you’re done working today. I have two stand up paddleboards we could use. We could swing by my buddy’s place to pick them up and then head to the beach. Supposed to be a gorgeous day. Super calm ocean.” He flashed that smile, the one that brought me to my knees—or brought me to my vibrator if we’re being truthful—though I wouldn’t mind a trip to my knees if Rhett was around.

  I wrestled my thoughts away from the gutter they’d been in since I woke up and pictured myself on a stand up paddleboard in the middle of the ocean. That visual was enough to clear the fog from my brain.

  “I’m not sure I’m cut out for sports that require balance. Or that have sharks waiting for you if you fall.”

  A dimple winked and I rejoiced.

  “Come on… You’re with someone who grew up on the water. I promise to keep you safe.” The pleading was masterful, I had to admit.

  “Today?” I wrinkled my nose, running through all the things I’d planned to do today, which wasn’t actually that much.

  Rhett leaned against the doorjamb, suddenly only inches away from my nearly naked self. My hair was plastered to my skull, no makeup in sight, and if he looked hard enough, could he see the pleasure I’d given myself just moments before? Once again, I was uncomfortable around him. No, that wasn’t right. I enjoyed his company and his closeness. It’s just that he put me on edge and made my heart race, in the best of ways. In the weirdest of ways. I’d never responded to a man quite like this.

  “Come on, Gabby,” he whispered in a low rumble. “Let’s throw caution to the wind and be spontaneous today. Go where whim takes us and experience nature’s wild side.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “That sounds awful.”

  Rhett barked out a laugh, the vibration reaching me as I leaned against the opposite side of the same doorjamb.

  “How about this? If you can honestly say you didn’t have any fun when we’re done, I’ll cook you dinner tonight. Something super elaborate and tasty, dessert included.” He waggled his eyebrows and I couldn’t stop the smile from tugging on my lips.

  “Okay, fine. But where’s the cameraman going to go?”

  Rhett straightened up. “Leave it to me. Just get ready and put on sunblock. I’ll meet you downstairs.” He spun around and left, leaving me wondering what I’d just gotten myself into.

  * * *

  “You sure this thing will make it?”

  We were rumbling down the Pacific Coast Highway in Rhett’s beast of a vehicle, the engine louder than those mufflers young kids put on the back of their crappy sedans to sound badass. Rhett swore that the best SUP—apparently all the cool kids just used the initials—location was in Redondo Beach, which lay south of my house in Manhattan Beach.

  His ancient Land Cruiser was actually nice inside, if you liked throwbacks to the days of rough fabric seats and windows that gave you an arm workout if you tried to crank them down by hand. Rhett shifted gears like he could do it in his sleep, but I wondered if I could even make it from first to second gear. I’d learned to drive a stick shift as my father insisted, but hadn’t driven one since that one time when I was sixteen.

  Rhett threw me a dirty look. “Lucy is more dependable than most of the cars out here on the road right now. And I don’t need a fancy computer to run diagnostics to tell me what’s wrong with her.”

  I rolled my lips in to stop the laugh.

  “Lucy, huh?”

  Rhett shrugged sheepishly. “I kind of liked I Love Lucy reruns growing up. She was hilarious and the only female comedian of her time.”

  I tilted my head, considering what kind of guy Rhett could be if he noticed things like the lack of female comedians throughout television history. I was impressed.

  But I kept my mouth shut and grabbed the handle above the passenger side door as he exited the highway and pulled into a beach parking lot, downshifting quickly. I didn’t trust this thing not to drop the engine somewhere along the road, leaving us to Fred Flintstone our way to the beach. He may have watched I Love Lucy, but I bet Rhett didn’t watch Fred and his fellow cave people have prehistoric adventures.

  Hell, I didn’t either. I wasn’t that old.

  “We are here!” Rhett pulled into a parking space and killed the engine.

  I let out a long breath.

  “Seriously? You thought Lucy wouldn’t get us here?” Rhett was looking at me like I killed his puppy. “This
classic was my father’s. I loved to work on it with him before he passed. The only reason Hewitt didn’t take it when our father died was because he thought it was worthless. But she’s gotten me through high school and college.” Rhett paused. “Hewitt could never see true beauty.” He looked at me, his expression dead serious.

  I knew what he meant, what he was trying to say. “I agree with you there,” I whispered back. I grabbed the door handle and slid my way out, ignoring the way the door groaned and squeaked as I opened and closed it. I could just see Hew rolling his eyes and ignoring this car. If I wasn’t careful, I’d turn into Hew with my automatic judgements and blinders over my eyes. That was a sobering thought.

  Rhett jumped out and pulled a paddleboard from the back of the vehicle. “Why don’t you set up our towels over by that lifeguard tower while I get the boards?” The cameraman assigned to us lumbered over from his car with his camera already on his shoulder and filming.

  Rhett grabbed the board by the handle in the middle and walked out onto the sand like it was no big deal. Meanwhile, I hustled to follow with just the towels, my lungs wondering what the hell was going on already. The cameraman was behind me and I could hear his labored breathing, which only made me feel marginally better.

  When both boards were on the sand at the water’s edge, Rhett waited for me to take off my shorts and tank top, then helped me put on a floatation device in case I fell in. The thing was hideous, but considering the chances were high I’d fall in, I put it on willingly.

  Rhett whipped off his shirt, exposing all those muscles and valleys that called to my fingertips. I looked away, pretending to be studying the water so I wouldn’t stare or drool inappropriately and be caught on camera.

  “Okay, so here’s what we do. We’ll enter the water with the board floating next to us. The paddle will stay on top of the board. When we get past the break, jump onto the board on your stomach and then slowly make your way to your knees. Both knees should be on either side of the handle in the middle. From there, I’ll help you get to your feet. Any questions?”

  Rhett was hot dishing out paddle boarding instructions.

  “Is it going to be cold?”

  The dimple was back. “That’s all you want to ask?”

  I made a face. “Any sharks out there?”

  Rhett put his hands on my shoulders. “Snookums. It’s the ocean. Of course there are sharks out there.”

  I pulled away, my heart in my throat. “What? I thought you said it was safe.”

  He started laughing, which I didn’t appreciate. He pulled me into his naked chest and even though I intended to be angry about this confession of sharks, I couldn’t find words. Not with my mouth literally brushing against that valley between his pec muscles. Sadly, my puffy life vest bungled any other body part from touching, but I’d take what I could get. Then he set me back, his hands on my shoulders once again.

  “Very rarely do they ever have sharks around here. But it is a free ocean. More likely is us seeing dolphins.”

  That got my attention. “I do like dolphins.”

  Rhett smiled. “Everybody likes dolphins.”

  I nodded and blew out a nervous breath. “Okay, let’s do this.”

  Rhett winked. “Thatta girl.”

  We waded into the water, and even though it was warm outside given that it was early September, the water was on the cold side. I did fine until we got about waist high.

  “Can I get on the board now?” I shouted over to Rhett. A wave crashed right on me and I sputtered, trying to get the water out of my eyes while keeping a hand on my board.

  “Not yet. Keep going a little farther out. Hurry!”

  Another swell was coming in and if I didn’t get out farther, the waves were going to keep crashing right on my head. I knew this, yet moving through the water with a huge board and paddle, plus that stupid life vest blocking arm movement, was harder than I expected. I hustled, panic giving me the burst of movement I needed to get past the wave before it crested.

  “Nice, Gabby. Now go ahead and climb on.” Rhett looked good all wet with the ocean as his backdrop, but I really couldn’t focus on that since I felt like I was fighting for my life at that very moment.

  The board was now chest high and I wasn’t really sure how to climb on. Since I could still touch the ocean floor, I figured I’d jump. What I hadn’t accounted for was the damn life vest getting in my way yet again. I threw my arms over the board and jumped. The vest hit the side of the board and immediately rejected me, tossing me back into the water. I would have gone under except the life vest decided to actually help me for once and buoyed me up.

  I heard a snicker but couldn’t see Rhett behind me what with the vest now up around my ears. I was many things, but I wasn’t a quitter. This time I put my hands on the edge of the board and jumped, careful to keep my vest out of the way. I made it halfway onto the board, my ass sticking up in the air as my legs dangled into the water. I only knew my ass was in the air because I felt my swimsuit bottoms pull down in the water when I jumped and the cool September air was now blowing across the top half of my exposed ass cheeks.

  Rhett let out a wolf whistle and if I dared unclench my death grip on the board, I would have flipped him the bird. As it was, there was only a gorgeous, yet all too thin, board between me and those sharks I could have sworn I spotted on the horizon. When the paddleboard quit rocking so much, I reached back and pulled up my swimsuit. Once that was taken care of, I hoisted a leg up and onto the back of the board. It tipped dangerously, but I held on and prayed for this outing to be over.

  Rhett was so cooking me dinner.

  Speaking of the devil himself, Rhett had paddled over while kneeling on this own board. He reached out and held mine steady. With his help I was able to get my full body onto the board and out of the water. I laid my forehead down on the rough surface to catch my breath. I felt a deep sense of relief, which was quite stupid because a shark could totally get me lying there on the board. It was like when I was a kid and I’d pull the covers over my head at night. The boogieman couldn’t get you under the covers, right?

  “Are we done yet?” I wailed, water dripping into my eyes and mouth.

  A muffled bark of laughter was all I heard above me. The bastard was laughing at me.

  Goose bumps dotted every square inch of my flesh, irritating me even further. I was cold, and wet, and exhausted, and I hadn’t even stood on my board yet! Fury gave me strength to lift my head and spear him with my scowl.

  “You promised me fun! Where is it?”

  He smirked at me and for once I did not find it sexy. “Oh, I’m having plenty of fun.”

  I splashed my arm into the shark-infested water and it sprayed in his face, just as I’d hoped. The satisfaction of seeing him sputter and wipe the water out of his eyes was short-lived because then he began to turn my board around like there was more to this ill-fated adventure.

  “All right, so now that we’re past the break, let’s have you come up onto your knees.”

  He was out of his mind if he thought I was going to be able to do that. The damn board was still rocking on the water, even with him holding one end of it.

  “I like my body right here.” I stuck out my bottom lip, hating the way my voice came out like a petulant child, but tough times called for overboard reactions. Pun intended.

  “Babe. I got you.”

  Pushing with my hands on the board, I lifted my upper body off like some up-dog yoga fanatic. “Don’t you ‘babe’ me, mister. I’m telling you, this isn’t gonna end well.”

  He held his hands out like he was placating an armed robber. “Okay. I hear you. But I also know you’re perfectly safe with your life vest on. If you fall in, no big deal. I’ll help you back up.” When the scowl didn’t leave my face, he continued. “Gabby, it’s time to try new things. Be spontaneous. Be a little crazy. I’m right here with you.”

  Dammit! I hated how that plea zeroed right into my chest and made me waver. He was r
ight. I wanted to be more fun, more courageous with life in general. I’d gotten into such a boring habit with Hew and look where that got me. I needed to live a little. You know, right before I died from a shark bite.

  I huffed out a breath. “Fine. Let’s do this. But so help me God, if I hear one more snort of laughter out of you, I will paddle this beast back in and never speak to you again.”

  He nodded solemnly. “You got it, Snookums.”

  I gave him a crazy-eyed look that had him motioning to zip his lips and throwing away the key. He held the front of my board again and I tried to press up to all fours. The board started wobbling maniacally and I froze. Once it was steady again, I shuffled my knees forward an inch at a time, a little squeak of wet skin on board piercing the silence with each shuffle. As I hit the middle of the board with my knees, I was able to pry my fingers off the rail of the board and straighten up ever so slowly.

  “Nicely done!” Rhett held his hand out for me to high five, but I wasn’t moving for anything. He slowly dropped it when he realized I was going to leave him hanging forever if necessary. Instead, he grabbed my paddle and slid it out from between my knees and handed it to me.

  “What the hell do I do with this?” I was frozen stiff trying to keep my balance, my body already screaming from the prolonged contracture of every single muscle I possessed.

  “Paddle with it?” he deadpanned.

  I threw caution to the wind and moved my eyeballs to give him a nasty look. When that didn’t lead to falling into the water, I almost patted myself on the back. If I could have reached around my huge life vest and if I hadn’t been balancing on a tiny board in the middle of the ocean, of course.

  “Okay, let’s try paddling. Like this.” Rhett dipped his paddle into the water and started moving away from me. He switched sides every few paddles and before I realized it, he was twenty feet away.

  “Wait! Don’t leave me!” I panicked, I admit.